In this 10 part series, we explore the Ten Components (ten behaviours) of The Thinking Environment® (Nancy Kline), and how understanding and practicing these behaviours has positively impacted my relationships and interactions with others.
Principle: “The human mind works best in the presence of appreciation.”
People work better in harmonious situations where they are valued. Not being valued not only hinders connecting, but also the ability to open one’s mind up to perspectives. Being appreciated stimulates the desire to want to participate.
In my experience, there is a fine line between showing genuine appreciation towards someone and going overboard or being ‘syrupy sweet’ per se and making comments based on what you think the other person wants to hear. I always check myself to ensure my intent is honest about my words of appreciation – of what or how the person has influenced me in what I am being grateful for, instead of just making them feel good.
I have found that when showing appreciation as a result of a true reflection of what impacted me about them, it creates connection with the other person and gives them the gift of seeing themselves through the other person’s eyes.
Appreciation of others is subjective as behaviours and their perceived impact affect people differently. What I appreciate in someone, others may not. This is the beauty of seeing yourself through someone else eyes. There are so many versions of reality out there and showing genuine appreciation to someone, gives them a clearer and positive picture of themselves.
Today we live in an analytical world, identifying problems and issues (challenges) and constantly trying to improve. This perspective is the norm in business, hence this five to one ratio for Appreciation to Challenge in the Component of Appreciation which reminds us that often we don’t need to find problems and criticise what we think is not going well, but rather understand and focus on the positive and by enhancing that – often the problems solve themselves. It is this attitude that invites more diverse perspectives and more realities into the picture, which in itself can provide the solutions to many challenges.
As we go through all Ten Components (behaviours), you will see how they all work hand-in-hand with each other, yet each one is so powerful on its own. PocketAdvisor helps you navigate the complex world of relationships, enrol for one of our Programs today!